I visit my in-laws and parents once a year. That’s it. Two trips. So I’ve been thinking about how to make these visits more than just obligatory check-ins.

The thing about memories is that they’re made up of moments that stand out.

My MIL loves cooking for us. The way her face lights up when we dig into her biryani – that’s priceless. In return, I’ve made it my mission to explore new places to eat around Coimbatore with my in-laws.

We finally ticked off that Guruvayur temple trip they’d been planning forever. Spent a day there, roamed around Thrissur. Sometimes the best gifts are experiences. Speaking of which, I got my brother’s FIL (who’s a massive Shiva devotee) a small idol from Guruvayur. He’s always hosting us for dinner when we visit my hometown, so it felt right.

I’ve started sneaking in some health stuff too. Got my in-laws kettlebells and resistance bands. Started them on light functional training. 

The Fuji Instax printer I had bought turned out to be a hit. We printed old photos – some just of us, others with the extended family. There’s something about holding physical photos that makes memories feel more real. Watching them relive those moments.

My FIL has this thing where he gifts me clothes every time I visit. I barely shop for clothes otherwise, so this has become another ritual. 

Just like how Anandhaas and Annapoorna visits are non-negotiable now.

For me, one of the best holidays here was just reading graphic novels all week. This was a couple of years back. Now I try to squeeze in some graphic novels to read every time I am here.

I also read a few design books because I can’t completely switch off. Working on Figma, doing random classes, keeping up with AI –  it feels different doing it here. It is so peaceful. No one to distract you.

Life is long, but these visits are short. When I look back, I want each trip to have its own highlight reel. Something that makes me go “ah, that was the time when…

“Nobody on Twitter might disagree, but not all in-laws are bad. No nazar please.

I highly recommend this book: The Art of Making Memories - Meik Wiking

I got some backlash from some people when I posted the above on x dot com. ‘oh techbros trying to optimise everything’.

I say yes, optimise everything you can. Make memories.

Got promoted? Instead of just calling your parents and telling them, take them out for a nice dinner. Make it memorable. Have a date night. Celebrate other people’s victories. On your last day at work, go to that shady bar nearby.

Treat yourself. And treat those close to you, too.

Life is short. I could have a heart attack and die next year. I want my annual reflection to include enough things that it feels crazy to look back and wonder how I got so many things done. Try more things. If you have the time and can afford it.

Or ignore all of the above and just do you. I can only live my life the way I want to!