Disagree and learn
You can disagree with someone, not even align with all their views, but still learn from them and form a good relationship. I debate with [Friend 1] all the time on career decisions, what we think about various people in the ecosystem, but when it comes to GTM and Sales, I always reach out to him for insights. Whenever we meet, we debate for hours, we disagree on a lot of things, but we look forward to meeting again.
[Friend 2] and I are polar opposites, our views couldn’t be more different on any major topic, but we have been friends since 2014.
I rant to my manager about various things, and in terms of working style mine can’t be more different than his, but when it comes to advice on how to lead a team, manage up and across, I will always go to him because I know he has a decade’s experience on these things.
Whenever I talk to [Friend 3], we end up debating how to design and build products. I think our last call went on for 3 hours. I am sure we don’t agree on the definition of Product Management. But then I am happy to sit with him and discuss what ‘platform thinking’ means for hours. I have so many friends who support ideologies I don’t align with. The teenager me would probably let that affect how I perceive them and what I can learn from them. Now I don’t care.
Just because a friend supports some particular ideology that I am not aligned with, does not mean that they can’t teach me about web3. A lot of people when I tell them that I respect person X, counter by pointing out all the things that they don’t like about X. How X is wrong about Y and Z. About how I can get past someone who believes in V and W. I don’t care. If you can teach me something new, if you are an interesting person, I am happy to sit with you and learn.
I was thinking how I am friends with so many people who I debate/disagree with all the time. On so many topics. But that is what makes these relationships special. We spend time with each other not because we are seeking confirmation bias or want the other person to say that we are right. I am just looking for perspectives from people who think differently than me. I don’t have to agree with everything they believe in. True for friends as well as famous people. As Lex Fridman says “Nobody in this world can tell me what to think, but I think everybody has a lesson to teach me.”
This might seem contradictory to my never engage/ debate with replybois Twitter rule. I almost never debate on Twitter. I do it only with people I know in real life, know that they are smart and not merely signalling, there is proof of work and genuine respect for each other.